Welcome to cake news – a lighter take on Fake News!
Your weekly antidote to the real-life-news… and a delve into what is going on up in the Alps?!
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Issue 8
TURNS OUT, SKI BOOTS ARE MEANT TO BE COMFY
A new documentary, on 60s Alpine design, has been unearthed and with it has emerged an interesting anecdote. It turns out, ski boots aren’t supposed to be icy plastic death vices at all – they’re actually supposed to be comfy. A 1966 interview clip with designer Franzie Feltz came to an abrupt and stunted halt when, on explaining a boot’s “comfort lining”, the interviewed questioned her use of the term:FF: “Well, yes, the lining to make the boot more comfortable.”
Press: “But not ‘comfortable’ as such, would you say? Considering the solid walls, permanent unnatural flexion and unforgiving clasps. The boot is exclusively for sporting performance, surely? And the constant, throbbing pain serves as a physical reminder of how lucky one is to be skiing. Until this subsides to cold and numbness of course.”
FF: “Um, yes. No, no, but… er, I would say the boot is quite comfy and the shape of the ankle and foot have been taken into account to provide comfort.”
Press: “Comfort??”
FF: “Er yes, comfort.”
*interviewer gets up and leaves the room*
Well knock us down with a feather! On too many mornings has the boot room been an expletive-filled dungeon of pain as we wedge bruised shins back into their cold coffins. And why? Because we rely on ski boots – one of the weirdest, most fit-for-purpose but also most unfit-for-human-flesh products ever – to enjoy the ultimate hobby... And maybe the interviewer of ’66 is right; skiing is just about as close to heaven as you can get – maybe you do need those ‘pinch me’ moments to keep you grounded. It’s just quite unpleasant when the ‘pinching’ is physically happening to your red, chafing, calf flesh but hey ho.